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A Note From a Nervous Cat

Got a shelter cat? Here's a clue as to what they might be thinking...

Dear Tootsie –

I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted you to know that I am alive and residing in a new strange place. It is quite different from my last residence with you; there are all new climbing things – my new servant calls “curtains” and “cabinets”. She is recommending I stay off them, but she has no idea how much fun they are - maybe she’ll give it a try someday. There is also this weird texture on the earth and it changes from super smooth and slippery to soft and furry – I think she calls it “tile and carpet”. I only know this because she had another servant over and told her. The ladder is great for digging in my nails and really giving them a good stretch...

I have to tell you – my sleeping quarters are much better here than at the shelter. I have a huge soft object my servant calls “thisisnotyourbed” that I love sleeping on. However sometimes she tries to sleep on it with me – usually when it’s dark outside.
I can tolerate it, but not once she starts making this terrible noise out of her nose, called “snoring”. Once that starts, I simply jump on her face and she usually stops or goes in another room. The nerve of some people, right?! Oh, there is also this really private spot where I get to do my business. You won't believe how quiet, clean and private it is! And the servant cleans it with the touch of a button!
Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I’m getting more used to this place every day, and soon I should be in complete domination. But, there is one problem – Chompers.

For some unknown reason, which was not approved by me, I have to share space with this filthy, hairy, annoying dog. I’ve tried destroying him multiple times already, but he seems to have more lives than us. One time, when my servant put Chompers in the tub for a bath, I simply knocked the electric curling iron in the water. He bounced around uncontrollably for a few minutes on his back and wet himself, but eventually he made a full recovery.
It's really starting to stress me out... I’m not sure how much longer I can share
space with him. However, I have found it to be much more tolerable since my
servant started giving me these delightful little treats called “seebeedee” – not sure what it means but I can tell you it simply puts me on cloud nine.... Nothing bothers me and I’m chilling like a villain.
Anyway, off to plot my next battle plan against Chompers. Until we meet again.

Respectfully yours,
Whiskers – aka Battleca

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